Knocking on Heaven's Door
by sandybeliever
Summary: He looked up at the ceiling as if looking into heaven itself. A tear slid from his eye but he wiped it away and steeled himself. Not here Hutchinson, not yet. He felt Huggy's grip on his arm tighten. He put his hand over his friend's and held on. "I need to see him."


Knocking on Heaven's Door

"Huggy."

"Yeah?"

"Uh, what was that you hung that lantern from up there?"

"Uh, I don't know, um…"

"Looks like…"

"One of them…"

"Fire sensitive sprinklers."

The sprinkler, reacting to the heat and smoke of the lantern, sprayed down on the group of friends sending everyone for cover. All except for Starsky who was trying to save the stuffed veal and antipasto left behind on his bed.

Hospital personnel came running to the window to see what was going on. Liz, Starsky's nurse, barged into the room cursing at the drunken group. The water flattened her hair and soaked her sweater. Hutch simply stood and pointed at her laughing until he caught the look of concern on her face. He turned quickly to see Starsky laying back, his eyes wide with terror and pain. She reached his side just as the sprinklers shut down.

"Dave, what's wrong?" she asked motioning at the onlookers and hitting the call button on the bed.

Hutch's knees began to buckle as the color drained from his best friend's face. Starsky never spoke again.

The room erupted into chaos. Hutch was pushed into the hall with Dobey and Huggy. Hutch went to the window and pressed his hands against it. Liz saw him and pulled the curtain shut but not before giving Hutch a concerned sad stare. Hutch stumbled backwards as if struck. Dobey and Huggy each took an arm.

"Let's go sit down," Dobey began but Hutch pulled his arms away violently.

"No, I have to stay here!" He went back to the window and pressed his ear against the glass. He could hear the doctor shouting orders. He turned to see a portable x-ray machine being wheeled to Starsky's side. He peered around it as the door opened and caught a glimpse of his friend looking lifeless and as white as the sheets he lay on. Hutch bent over, supporting himself with his hands on his thighs. His breathing was ragged and desperate.

"I killed him. Its all my fault," the words were barely discernible but Dobey and Huggy understood. They were also silently blaming themselves.

"Let's wait and see what the doctor says." Dobey mumbled, leaning against a wall for support.

Hutch went back to the window to listen. There were no more loud voices, no more sounds in the room. He started to weep before the doctor even came out of the room. A few minutes later he heard the door open and the doctor step into the hall. Hutch kept his face pressed against the window and his face turned away.

"I'm so sorry," was all he heard followed by the sound of his own blood rushing in his ears as his vision grayed.

"Hutch? You okay?" Huggy's voice floated in from the darkness. Hutch became aware that he was lying down. He opened his eyes and blinked once before the realization of what had just happened hit him. He took in a gulp of breath so violent his chest ached. A hand came to rest on his shoulder.

"Just lay there for a minute, Hutchinson," Dobey said firmly. Hutch covered his face with his hands as if to block out the misery. His best friend was dead; his heart broken. "I spoke to the doctor for a minute. We can't blame ourselves. There was nothing that would have changed what happened." Hutch slid his hands down and looked at Dobey with questions in his eyes. "It was a dissecting aneurysm."

"What? What is that?" Hutch said gingerly propping himself up on his elbows, his head swimming.

"Basically, the trauma to his heart and chest caused a tear in his aorta," Dobey pointed to his own chest absently. "He just bled out. It was like a timebomb just waiting to go off. They figure he most likely would have died in his sleep if we weren't…" his voice trailed off and he turned away.

Huggy reached out to help Hutch to his feet. "He went out laughing, Hutch. My man would have wanted it that way."

Hutch smiled sadly as he put his hand on Huggy's shoulder. He then hung his head. "I have to call his mother. What time is it?"

"Its about quarter to four in the morning right now. Go home and get some sleep and call her later." Huggy said, not letting go of Hutch's arm just yet.

Hutch scoffed at the thought. "Sleep, yeah right."

"You need your strength," Dobey said a bit too loudly. He ran a hand over the stubble on his chin. "Someone from the hospital will be contacting you in the morning to…well, to make arrangements."

Hutch squeezed his eyes shut. He wanted to open them and have this entire nightmare go away. "I don't know if I can do this," he whispered to no one in particular.

"If you'd like me to handle that, I will," Dobey replied.

Hutch smiled but it was more of a grimace. "No, Captain, I mean I don't know if I can live my life…without him."

He looked up at the ceiling as if looking into heaven itself. A tear slid from his eye but he wiped it away and steeled himself. _Not here Hutchinson, not yet._ He felt Huggy's grip on his arm tighten. He put his hand over his friend's and held on.

"I need to see him."

"We knew you'd want to. He is still in his room. The nurse said to go in when you are ready." Huggy stated.

Hutch walked out into the hallway and got his bearings, he turned and walked slowly down the hall back to Starsky's room. He pushed the door open slowly. The room lights were low but he could see Starsky's form under the sheet. Feeling like his own heart would burst, he wondered what his best friend's last thoughts were. He pulled the sheet down timidly, afraid of what he would see. Starsky was pale but otherwise looked like he was sleeping. All the tubes and equipment had been taken away. His hair was still damp from the sprinkler and Hutch's heart broke again as he remembered the laughter in this room not long ago.

"Hey, pal," He said quietly. "I…I wish you didn't have to go. I thought you'd made it through." Hutch reached up and touched Starsky's cheek. The skin felt so cold and lifeless Hutch drew in a sharp breath and looked away.

He pulled the sheet back up and was overcome with hatred for the man responsible. It had been such sweet revenge to put Gunther behind bars and he had looked forward to the trial that would ultimately imprison the man for the rest of his life. But now all he wanted to do was wrap his bare hands around his neck and kill him in cold blood. His fists were clenched so tightly, his nails cut into his palms. He took one last look at the body of his best friend and headed out of the room with murder in his breaking heart.

Hutch insisted he would be okay alone and shut the door behind him. He heard Huggy's car pull away. He looked around the house. Starsky's presence was strong here even though he had not been in the house recently. Hutch ran a hand along the back of the sofa. In his mind's eye he saw Starsky sprawled there, one foot on the couch cushion, the other on the coffee table. Hutch hated when he put his feet on the furniture.

"Oh, Starsk." He sobbed.

Glancing into his bedroom, he knew there would be no sleep for him and sat down on the couch. He leaned back, resting his head on the cushion. He closed his eyes until the scene at the hospital started to replay in his head. He jumped up and went into the kitchen. He pulled a pitcher of carrot juice from the fridge and poured a glass. He wasn't sure how long he stood there at the sink staring into the glass, lost in thought.

'_What is this stuff?'_ he heard faintly and smirked.

"Its good for you, Starsk, just drink it."

'_I ain't drinking this sissy juice.'_

Hutch downed the drink and placed the glass in the sink.

Hutch hung up the phone after breaking the news to Rachael Starsky that her son was gone. After the initial shock, she had handled it quite well. Hutch knew she must have been prepared to lose him knowing how dangerous his job was. She had expressed her gratitude for his friendship and would be waiting for his call back after he spoke to the hospital.

"You're going back home, buddy. She'll be waiting for you," He said into the silence.

'_What if I don't wanna go back, huh? Ever think about that?'_

"You don't have a say in it this time."

'_Well that's just not fair,'_ came the sarcastic reply in Hutch's mind and he smiled.

"I'm sorry, sir, you'll need to remove your gun," the guard said.

"I'm just going to be in there for five minutes," Hutch said jovially. I need to follow up on some lose ends with him." Hutch could see the young guard was intimidated by him but knew something seemed wrong. Hutch changed tactics.

"The rules…"

"Alright, good job." Hutch laughed, quickly removing the holster from his shoulder. "I knew I couldn't trip you up on that one." He placed the holstered gun in the bin on the table. The guard smiled proudly as he handed the clipboard over for a signature.

Hutch signed the sheet quickly as a man and woman entered the room and distracted the guard. He slipped around the metal detector to the barred door beyond. The harsh buzzer indicated the door was unlocked and he passed through. Rubbing the sweat from his palms onto his pant legs he motioned to the guard in the visitor room who opened the door. "Hello, Sergeant Hutchinson."

"Hey there, Steve."

"I heard about Sergeant Starsky. I'm so sorry."

"Oh thanks a lot, Stevey. I appreciate that. He was pretty sick, though. It wasn't a shock," Hutch lied. "Thanks for letting me come in so late in the day. Captain Dobey asked me to follow up on something. I will only be a few minutes. I know you want to head home."

"Its my son's birthday so I appreciate that," the guard replied excitedly. Hutch's stomach twisted. He didn't want to hold anyone up from getting on with their lives.

A moment later a third guard brought Gunther into the room. His shackled ankles were locked to the floor. Hutch watched the older man's expression. He could see Gunther was trying to figure out what he was doing there. Word of Starsky's death most likely hadn't reached him yet.

Hutch slowly sat down in the chair. Gunther stared back but Hutch could see the uncertainty. Despite all his power, James Marshall Gunther was a weak little man. Hutch began to have second thoughts on the purpose of the visit.

"So he's dead," Gunther said matter-of-factly, stunning Hutch. "Yes, I heard." There was a hint of satisfaction in his voice and the hairs on the back of Hutch's neck bristled.

"You son of a bitch," Hutch hissed. "You face murder one charges now."

"Well, what does it matter? I was never going to see the light of day again. You would make sure of that."

"You won't see another _day_, let alone the light." Hutch said as he reached into his boot and pulled out the knife he had hidden.

Gunther's calm façade waivered. "What do you mean by that?"

In an instant Hutch was out of his chair, reaching across the table he sliced the man's throat open. Hutch heard a woman scream behind him as the couple entered the room. Arms grabbed him and he dropped the knife. His face was pushed into the table.

"What are you doing here?" he heard someone ask.

"Isn't it obvious?" Hutch wondered why the table felt soft under his cheek.

"What?"

Hutch opened his eyes. He wasn't at the prison. Where was he?

"I said what are you doing here, Sergeant? It's almost four in the morning."

"Liz?" Hutch rubbed his eyes as he lifted his head from the bed. What was the nurse doing here? His head throbbed. It was then he spotted Dobey snoring in the corner. Next to him was Huggy, sound asleep with his head resting on the captain's shoulder, his drool dribbling onto Dobey's suit jacket.

Hutch turned to his right. Starsky. Starsky was back in the bed. But he wasn't pale. Hutch cautiously reached out and touched the hand of his friend that was so close to his. It was warm and twitched at the touch.

Hutch stood up, the chair he was sitting in slid back loudly and Starsky stirred.

"Huj?" he said groggily, the pain killers and wine still in his system making him slur. He saw the nurse, hands on hips staring at his partner. "Oh oh, Hutch, whatya do now, buddy?"

Hutch looked from Starsky to Liz and back to Starsky again. He felt just as elated as he did weeks ago when Starsky first opened his eyes.

"It was a dream," he said breathlessly.

"No, I'm pretty sure she'sh real and you are in big trouble, mishter."

Hutch stepped back to Starsky's side and stared in wonder at him. He laughed at the perplexed look he received back and gathered Starsky up in his arms in a bear hug. "I love you, partner."

"Uh, I luf you too." Starsky said as Hutch released his grip. "G'night." With that Starsky closed his eyes and drifted back to sleep.

Hutch watched as Starsky drifted off to sleep. He took a deep breath and wondered if he would have actually killed Gunther if Starsky had died. _No. I couldn't have, wouldn't have. I'm no vigilante._

When Hutch looked back at Liz she put her hands up. "You're not going to hug me again are you?"

Laughing, Hutch shook his head. "Okay, I won't this time."

"I'm going to pretend I didn't find you all here. But could you please keep a low profile?"

"Sure, thank you," Hutch said pulling the chair back next to the bed.

"Would you like some juice or anything?"

"Got any carrot juice?"

The End.


End file.
